Why Can't They See It My Way? The Role of Emotions in Perception
“Our emotions shape our reality more than we realise.” - Dr. Ashleigh Moreland
Understanding Emotional Perception and Its Impact on Relationships
Welcome to the Re-MIND Institute blog! I'm Dr Ashleigh Moreland, and today we're diving into a topic that affects us all: the role of emotions in our perception and how they shape our reality. This post is inspired by our recent Re-MIND Podcast episode titled "Why Can't They See It My Way? The Role of Emotions in Perception." If you haven't listened to it yet, I highly recommend giving it a go for deeper insights and personal anecdotes that complement this discussion. [watch here or listen here].
The Power of Emotional Perception
Emotions are powerful. They influence our thoughts, behaviours, and interactions with others. Often, our emotions shape the way we perceive the world around us. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts, especially in our closest relationships. In the podcast episode, David and I discussed several scenarios that highlight how our emotional perceptions can differ significantly from objective reality.
For instance, I shared a personal story about my tendency to set my husband up for failure by not communicating clearly about putting food in the freezer. This unconscious pattern created unnecessary frustration and resentment. It wasn't until I recognised this pattern and took responsibility for my part in it that I could break the cycle and foster a healthier relationship.
David also shared his journey from projecting a critical lens outward to turning it inward. This shift allowed him to recognise his own unconscious biases and how they influenced his perception of reality. These examples underscore the importance of understanding and managing our emotional perceptions.
Practical Tools for Managing Emotional Perceptions
To help you navigate your emotions and perceptions more effectively, I've compiled several practical tools and strategies that you can implement in your daily life. These tools are designed to increase your emotional intelligence, improve communication, and foster healthier relationships.
Self-Awareness and Reflection
The first step in managing your emotional perceptions is developing self-awareness. This involves recognising your emotions, understanding their sources, and reflecting on how they influence your behaviour. Here are some practical steps to enhance self-awareness:
Journaling: Regularly write down your thoughts and feelings. Reflect on significant events and how they made you feel. This practice can help you identify patterns in your emotional responses.
Mindfulness Meditation: Spend a few minutes each day practising mindfulness. Focus on your breath and observe your thoughts and emotions without judgement. This can help you become more aware of your internal experiences.
Emotional Check-Ins: Set aside time each day to check in with yourself. Ask questions like, "How am I feeling right now?" and "What triggered this emotion?" This can help you stay connected to your emotions and understand their impact on your perception.
Debriefing: When something occurs that doesn’t FEEL good for you, especially with building resentment, list out all the reasons why that “thing” happened. Don’t forget to consider the reasons involving you - what did you do or not do, say or not say, etc that contributed to that outcome? This is such a powerful way to ensure that your response can shift to a more productive one next time, resulting in a positive outcome.
Empathy and Perspective-Taking
Understanding and acknowledging others' perspectives is crucial for healthy relationships. Empathy is often misunderstood to involve mirroring the experiences of others energetically and emotionally, but this is a red flag for lack of energetic boundaries. In a healthy environment, empathy involves recognising and validating the EMOTIONS of others, even if you don't fully understand or agree with them, simply because it is their lived experience in that moment. Here are some ways to cultivate empathy:
Active Listening: When someone is speaking, give them your full attention. Don’t multitask, and remain present not only physically, but, more importantly, emotionally and mentally. Avoid interrupting or planning your response while they're talking. Instead, focus on understanding their feelings and perspective.
Reflective Responses: After someone shares their feelings, reflect back what you heard. For example, "It sounds like you're feeling frustrated because you feel unheard." This shows that you acknowledge their emotions and are trying to understand their experience.
Perspective-Taking Exercises: Imagine yourself in the other person's shoes. Consider how their experiences, background, and emotions might influence their perception. I like to ask myself - “If what they were seeing or perceiving was really true, how would they feel?”. Regardless of whether it’s an accurate representation of what’s actually happening, this can help you appreciate their emotional response to their own distorted viewpoint, and empower you to respond with greater empathy. During their emotional experience, this is NOT the time to try and get them to see the situation differently. Their brain literally does not have the capacity to do so.
Clear and Compassionate Communication
Effective communication is key to resolving misunderstandings and managing emotional perceptions. Here are some strategies for clear and compassionate communication:Use "I" Statements: When discussing your feelings, use "I" statements to take ownership of your emotions and avoid blaming others. For example, "I feel upset when the food isn't put in the freezer because it leads to waste."
Seek Clarification: If you're unsure about someone's feelings or intentions, ask for clarification. For example, "Can you help me understand why this is important to you?" This can prevent misinterpretations and foster mutual understanding.
Stay Calm and Composed: In heated moments, take a step back to calm down before responding. Deep breathing, counting to ten, or taking a short walk can help you regain composure and respond more thoughtfully.
Revisit our Podcast Series on Communication: Episodes 56, 57 and 58 of the Re-MIND Podcast gave tangible and practical tips and tools for healthier communication.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for maintaining emotional well-being and healthy relationships. They involve recognising your limits and communicating them clearly to others. Here are some tips for setting healthy boundaries:Identify Your Needs: Reflect on what you need to feel safe and respected in your relationships. This could include time alone, clear communication, or respect for your opinions.
Communicate Boundaries Clearly: Express your boundaries assertively and respectfully. For example, "I need some quiet time in the evenings to unwind. Can we discuss how to make this work?"
Respect Others' Boundaries: Just as you set your own boundaries, it's important to respect others'. Acknowledge and honour their needs, even if they differ from yours.
Seeking Professional Support
If you find it challenging to manage your emotions and perceptions, seeking professional support can be beneficial. A therapist or coach can provide guidance, tools, and strategies tailored to your specific needs. At the Re-MIND Institute, we offer various programs and services to support your emotional well-being and personal growth. You can contact us on any our our social platforms to enquire!
Scenarios and Tangible Coaching Elements
To illustrate how these tools can be applied in real-life situations, let's explore a few scenarios:
Misunderstanding with a Partner
Imagine you're frustrated because your partner didn't complete a household task. Instead of reacting with anger, take a moment to reflect on your emotions. Why does this situation trigger you? Is it because you feel unsupported or unappreciated?
Use "I" statements to communicate your feelings: "I feel overwhelmed when the chores aren't shared because it adds to my stress." Listen to your partner's perspective and work together to find a solution that meets both your needs.
Conflict with a Colleague
You notice tension with a colleague who seems dismissive of your ideas. Instead of assuming they're against you, seek to understand their perspective. Schedule a time to discuss your concerns and use reflective responses to acknowledge their feelings: "I understand you have a lot on your plate and might not have time to consider every suggestion."
Express your own needs clearly: "I feel undervalued when my ideas are dismissed without consideration. Can we find a way to discuss them more openly?" This approach fosters mutual respect and collaboration.
Emotional Reaction to Feedback
Receiving constructive feedback can be challenging. If you feel defensive or upset, take a step back to calm down. Reflect on the feedback and consider its validity without letting your emotions take over.
Respond with gratitude and curiosity: "Thank you for the feedback. Can you provide more details on how I can improve?" This shows a willingness to learn and grow, even if the feedback initially stings.
Rise and Thrive: Your Solution for Emotional Mastery
At the Re-MIND Institute, we understand that managing emotions and perceptions can be challenging. That's why we developed the Rise and Thrive program, a comprehensive 10-week journey designed to help you master your emotions, break free from unconscious patterns, and foster healthier relationships.
In Rise and Thrive, we combine neuroscience, spirituality, and practical tools to support your personal and professional development. You'll learn to:
Increase self-awareness and understand your emotional triggers.
Develop empathy and improve your communication skills.
Set healthy boundaries and navigate conflicts with grace.
Cultivate emotional resilience and achieve greater emotional intelligence.
This program is ideal for individuals who are ready to take control of their emotional well-being and create lasting positive changes in their lives. To express your interest in joining, or to find out more about the mode of delivery and investment, head here.
Join Our Heart-Centred Healing Hub
For ongoing support and community, we invite you to join our Heart-Centred Healing Hub on Facebook. This group is a safe space for sharing experiences, asking questions, and receiving support from like-minded individuals on similar journeys. As a member, you'll have access to exclusive content, and the opportunity to connect with others committed to their healing and growth.
Call to Action:
If you're ready to transform your emotional perceptions and build healthier relationships, listen to our latest podcast episode "Why Can't They See It My Way? The Role of Emotions in Perception", enrol in our Rise and Thrive program, and join our Heart-Centred Healing Hub on Facebook.
Together, we can create ripple effects of healing and resilience that transform lives. Visit www.re-mind.institute to learn more and get started on your journey today.
Thank you for reading, and I look forward to supporting you on your path to emotional mastery and personal growth.
With wellness in mind [and body, and spirit],
Dr Ashleigh Moreland
Re-MIND Institute
Watch Episode 68 of the Re-MIND Podcast here:
