Why We Avoid, Overthink, and Stay Busy – Everything You Need To Know About the Flight Response

“I actually find that flight responses are the most misunderstood response out of all our trauma responses, because it's not about physically leaving. It's actually about mentally checking out as well.”

- Dr. Ashleigh Moreland

For many of us, the instinct to keep ourselves constantly busy or to mentally “check out” when faced with stress is so ingrained that we barely notice it. But what if this pattern of behaviour—avoiding, overthinking, filling our schedules—was actually a response from our nervous system and a SOLUTION to manage the discomfort we might be feeling (or trying to avoid)?

In a recent podcast episode, we talked about what’s known as the “flight response” and how it shows up in our everyday lives. When people think about “flight”, they think it’s physically running away, but as we discussed in the podcast episode, it’s actually also when we escape by staying busy, overthinking, or completely disengaging mentally!

In this post, we’ll explore the nature of the flight response, why it becomes our go-to reaction in times of stress, and how we can begin to shift towards a more balanced, peaceful state. Our Rise and Thrive program at the Re-MIND Institute is designed for individuals ready to break free from these cycles, helping them build a healthier relationship with themselves, their work, and their loved ones.

Understanding the Flight Response Beyond “Running Away”

The Flight response often goes far beyond the urge to flee a situation physically. Many people assume they don’t have a flight response because they rarely walk away, hang up or leave. However, the flight response often involves mental and emotional “running away—disengaging from difficult situations, mentally checking out, or becoming overly busy to avoid facing something that feels threatening.

Example Scenario
Consider a person who keeps their calendar packed, moving from one task to the next without pause. They’re always “on” and rarely take time for themselves. On the surface, they might look like a high achiever, but beneath it, this relentless busyness might be masking an avoidance pattern. They may be unconsciously afraid of stillness (avoiding the discomfort of being judged as lazy) or of facing their own thoughts or unaddressed feelings. This is a classic example of the flight response, and over time, it can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from life’s deeper purpose.

Why Do We Rely on Avoidance and Overthinking?

The flight response is a natural survival mechanism triggered by our nervous system when it senses a threat. In ancient times, this helped us escape physical dangers. Today, however, the “threats” that trigger our nervous systems are often emotional or psychological, not physical.

Many of us learned avoidance behaviours from childhood. If you grew up in an environment where overworking or “keeping busy” was valued over emotional rest, you might have internalised that being busy was a way to stay safe, worthy, acceptable or in control. This is a “chronic flight mode,” where our nervous system is so used to feeling threatened that we stay in a perpetual state of mental escape.

How to Recognise Your Flight Response Patterns

Recognising the flight response often requires a deeper look at our behaviours and feelings. Here are some signs that you may be experiencing a flight response:

• Constant Busyness: You fill every available moment with tasks, appointments, and commitments to avoid stillness.

• Overthinking: You dwell on conversations, replay scenarios, and worry excessively about “what ifs.”

• Distraction and Avoidance: When faced with a challenging task, you find ways to procrastinate by busying yourself with other, less important tasks.

• Emotional Numbing: During difficult interactions, you mentally check out, feeling as though you’re physically present but not emotionally engaged.

Example Scenario
Imagine a person named Sarah who regularly finds herself ruminating about how her colleagues perceive her. She overanalyses small interactions, wondering if she said the right thing or if her performance is up to par. Rather than addressing her fear of judgement or self-worth issues, Sarah's mind stays in overdrive analysing things from the past instead. She fills her time with new projects and work to feel validated and ease her self-worth issues, often at the expense of her mental, emotional and physical health.

Practical Tools to Work Through Flight Responses

Recognising these patterns is an essential first step, but the true healing comes from learning to manage and eventually reduce these flight responses. Here are a few practical steps to start working through these behaviours:

1. Grounding Techniques
   When the urge to check out or stay busy hits, try grounding techniques to bring yourself into the present moment. Simple practices like deep breathing, placing your hand on your heart, or taking a few conscious steps can help signal to your nervous system that you are safe and don’t need to flee.

   • Practice: Each time you catch yourself mentally checking out, take three slow, deep breaths and remind yourself, “I am safe here, in this moment.”

2. Mindful Awareness
   Becoming aware of when you’re moving into a flight response can help you address it. Notice the sensations in your body when you feel the urge to avoid or disengage. Is your chest tight? Are you feeling restless?

   • Practice: Set aside five minutes a day to check in with your body. Notice where tension gathers and remind yourself that acknowledging these sensations helps you stay present. If you need help with this, try following along this short video.

3. Limit Overcommitting
   Busy schedules can mask avoidance behaviours. Limit your commitments and start learning to say “no” to activities that drain you or add unnecessary stress. By intentionally slowing down, you give yourself the space to process emotions and thoughts rather than escape them.

   • Practice: Each week, reserve time in your calendar that is specifically for rest or unstructured time. This practice trains your nervous system to find calmness outside of constant activity. For me, having time alone before my kids wake up to sit in my “ponder chairs”, stare out the window and drink my coffee while watching the sunrise is the greatest way to regulate my nervous system at the start of each day.

4. Challenge Overthinking
   Overthinking is often driven by fears of judgement, rejection, or not being “enough.” When you find yourself caught in a spiral of thoughts, ask yourself what specific fear or belief is driving this. Challenge those beliefs by reframing them.

   • Practice: If you find yourself overthinking a conversation, ask yourself, “What is the worst outcome I’m imagining here?” Then, gently challenge that fear by asking if it’s based on evidence or a past experience. Even if it WAS a bit of an awkward disaster, ask yourself, “If I were to relive that in a parallel universe, what would I have said or done differently to feel comfortable and confident instead?" In my experience, reflecting on these situations and extracting the lesson from it is very empowering and helpful in releasing the emotion we are holding onto as a result of it.

5. Create an Environment for Emotional Safety
   Safe environments, where you feel supported to express your emotions, are vital for nervous system regulation. Consider joining a supportive community like the Heart-Centred Healing Hub on Facebook, where you can find people on similar journeys, share experiences, and learn together.

Turning Flight Patterns into Growth Opportunities

Healing from the flight response isn’t about eliminating the response entirely; it’s about recognising it and building resilience. When you catch yourself mentally checking out or avoiding, pause to see it as an opportunity to listen to what your body and mind are communicating. Over time, the flight response can become a guide rather than a barrier.

Example Scenario
Take John, who often finds himself saying “yes” to every project at work because he worries about disappointing others. Rather than addressing this fear, he keeps himself busy, ultimately feeling exhausted and unappreciated. Through awareness and nervous system regulation, John learns to pause before saying “yes,” asking himself if he truly has the capacity. He starts to realise that his need to overcommit stems from a fear of not being valued unless he’s constantly available. (Ok, I said John, but I might mean Ash in a previous life when I was still an academic!!)

By embracing these moments as opportunities to grow, John finds he’s able to communicate more openly and honestly with his colleagues. His relationships improve as he becomes more present and less reactive.

The Role of Trauma in Flight Responses

Many flight responses are tied to past traumas, especially those that leave us feeling unsafe, judged, or unworthy. Childhood experiences, family dynamics, and societal messages can all contribute to a heightened flight response. Dr. Ash explains that healing these patterns requires a level of nervous system integration that often includes processing unresolved trauma. For those interested in a deeper journey, programs like Rise and Thrive guide participants through healing by addressing trauma, nervous system regulation, and practical strategies to develop healthier responses.

Practical Exercise: Noticing and Reframing Avoidance

One way to start healing your relationship with the flight response is to reframe the times when you notice yourself avoiding or overthinking as messages from your nervous system. Rather than criticising yourself, approach these moments with curiosity.

1. Identify the Trigger: The next time you feel the need to mentally escape or avoid something, identify what triggered it.

2. Pause and Observe: Take a moment to pause and breathe. Notice what’s happening in your body without judgement.

3. Ask Yourself Questions: What am I feeling? Is this response protecting me from something I perceive is unsafe?

4. Reframe the Situation: Remind yourself that you’re not in immediate danger. Often, simply acknowledging that your nervous system is reacting based on old patterns can help to ease the flight response.

Finding Freedom Through Support and Community

Learning to recognise and understand the flight response is a powerful step towards inner freedom. However, we don’t have to face these patterns alone. A supportive environment, like the Heart-Centred Healing Hub, offers a space where individuals share similar journeys and find guidance from our Re-MIND team. Connecting with a community that understands the intricacies of the nervous system and trauma healing can be incredibly grounding.