Feeling Stuck? Understanding the Freeze Response and How to Feel Alive Again
“Freeze actually more closely resembles depression, whereas flight looks more like anxiety. When someone's behaviourally exhibiting signs of depression, that can be a big indicator their nervous system has flopped over into a freeze response. ”
- Dr. Ashleigh Moreland
When life gets too overwhelming, many of us find ourselves in a state of complete shutdown, but it’s a kind of stillness that’s far from restful. It’s what’s known as the “freeze response,” a powerful and often misunderstood part of our survival instinct that kicks in when we feel cornered, helpless, or too exhausted to respond. If you’ve ever felt paralysed, unmotivated, or stuck, this blog is for you.
In a recent episode of the Re-MIND Podcast, we explored the freeze response, shedding light on why we shut down when life feels too much and, importantly, how we can work towards feeling alive again. In this blog, we’ll look at what the freeze response is, how it can manifest, and practical tools to help you move through it gently.
What Is the Freeze Response?
The freeze response is one of our nervous system’s survival strategies. It’s the body’s natural reaction to a threat that feels inescapable—one where we’re unable to “fight” or “flee.” Imagine you’re in a moment where every avenue feels blocked, and even though you might want to act, you’re unable to move. For many people, the freeze response is their body’s way of coping with situations that feel super overwhelming.
Freezing is different from “flight.” When we’re in a flight response, there’s still a lot of mental activity—our minds race, we overthink, and often stay busy to avoid confronting stress. But freeze is like a shut-down mode: brain fog, numbness, detachment, and an inability to move forward.
The freeze response can be helpful when we’re truly in danger, but in everyday life, it can leave us feeling detached from ourselves and others, stuck, and ultimately unfulfilled. Understanding why we freeze and knowing that it’s a response, not a flaw, is the first step towards healing.
How to Know if You’re in a Freeze Response
You might wonder if what you’re feeling is simply a low mood or if you’re in a state of freeze. The signs of freeze can look a lot like depression, and they include:
Brain fog and feeling mentally “shut down": you might struggle to focus, make decisions, or remember details.
Emotional numbness or detachment: Instead of feeling anxious or worried, you feel flat, disconnected, or “out of it.”
Feeling physically immobilised: This can look like spending hours binge-watching TV or feeling unable to leave the house.
Disconnection from your body: There’s a sense of separation from physical sensations or a “numbing out” of the body, and in extreme cases, full blown dissociation, depersonalisation or derealisation.
It’s also common to see people in freeze who come across as unmotivated or even directionless. But quite often, this isn’t laziness or indifference; it’s actually a product of the body choosing the freeze response to protect itself in moments of overwhelming stress, and that response can linger long after the stressor is gone.
Why Does Freeze Happen?
Freeze usually happens when we’ve cycled through other survival strategies like fight and flight without finding a solution (OR we learned at a young age that fight and flight were not safe survival responses). Let’s say you’re in a tense relationship or facing a conflict at work. At first, you might try to handle it by speaking up (fight) or distancing yourself (flight). But if the situation doesn’t improve and you feel trapped, your body may default to freeze as a last resort.
This can also be influenced by what we learned in our early years. For example, if we grew up in a family that encouraged “keeping the peace” at all costs, we may have learned to internalise stress instead of expressing it. So, when a major stressor appears, freeze can feel like the safest option.
Practical Tools for Moving Through Freeze
While the freeze response can feel deeply ingrained, there are tangible ways to start shifting out of it. These tools are designed to gently “defrost” your body and mind, creating space for you to feel more present, alive, and engaged.
Small Movements: Getting Your Body Unstuck
When you’re in freeze, the body benefits from small, gentle movements. High-intensity exercise might sound like a good way to “snap out” of it, but this can add more stress to an already overwhelmed system. Instead, try these exercises:
Patting or Shaking Your Limbs: Lightly pat or shake your arms and legs, which helps to bring blood flow back and connect you to your physical body.
Walking in Nature: A gentle walk can help you reawaken your senses without adding more stress. Notice the colours, textures, and sounds around you to bring you back to the present.
Stretching: Focus on simple, relaxing stretches that don’t require too much exertion. Deep breaths during stretching can help reconnect you to your body in a kind, supportive way.
Scenario: If you wake up feeling unmotivated and unable to get out of bed, try sitting up, placing your feet on the ground, and slowly patting your arms and legs. Even this small movement can start to shift your nervous system’s state.
Grounding Exercises: Anchoring Yourself in the Present
Freeze often pulls us out of the present moment, leaving us disconnected and numb. Grounding exercises help to anchor us back into our bodies and the “here and now.”
5-4-3-2-1 Technique: This classic grounding exercise involves naming five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. It brings you back to your senses, one by one.
Holding an Object: Pick up an object, like a stone or a pen, and focus on its texture, weight, and temperature. This simple act can help re-engage your awareness.
Barefoot Walking: If possible, walk barefoot on grass or another natural surface. The physical connection to the earth can help bring a sense of grounding.
Scenario: Suppose you’re at work and feeling the brain fog that often accompanies freeze. I used to feel so pressured and stressed with such large workloads that in those times I would feel like I HAD to remain chained to my desk because “time out” would put me even further behind. However, by forcing myself to stay at my desk, I was actually LESS productive, and my nervous system pushed deeper into a survival state of freeze. My advice is to take a brief break and go for a mindful walk outside in the fresh air, noticing the air as you breathe, noticing your surroundings, and coming back into your body. Another favourite is to hold a small object, like your coffee mug, focusing on the warmth and texture. These brief grounding exercises can help you feel more present and clear-headed.
Self-Compassion and Understanding
Freeze is your body’s way of telling you it’s feeling overwhelmed. Instead of shaming yourself for being “unproductive” or “lazy,” practise self-compassion. Talk to yourself as you would a friend: “I’m doing my best, and it’s okay to take things slowly.”
One of the most significant challenges in freeze is that self-criticism can deepen the sense of stuckness. Adopting a compassionate approach allows your body and mind to feel safe enough to slowly re-engage.
Scenario: Imagine you’ve spent hours binge-watching TV and feel guilty for “wasting time.” Instead of berating yourself, remind yourself that you’re giving your nervous system the time it needs to process. Shifting to self-compassion may feel strange at first, but it’s essential for healing.
Break Tasks into Micro-Steps
Often, people in freeze feel paralysed by the thought of taking on big tasks. Breaking down activities into the smallest possible steps can help make things feel manageable.
Start with Five Minutes: If getting out of bed or starting a project feels too much, just commit to five minutes. Often, the first small action can help your mind and body “unfreeze.”
Set Micro-Goals: Rather than thinking, “I need to clean the house,” try “I’ll wash three dishes.” Small goals give you a sense of accomplishment without overwhelming you.
Celebrate Small Wins: Recognise each small step as a win. This practice can build confidence and create momentum for more significant changes.
Scenario: Let’s say you need to work on an assignment but feel completely immobilised. Set a timer for five minutes and start with opening a document. That simple act, without the pressure to “finish,” can help you feel capable and ease your body out of freeze.
Connect with Others in a Safe Space
Feeling alone can deepen the sense of stuckness that comes with freeze. Joining a supportive community where you feel seen and understood can be incredibly grounding. At the Heart-Centred Healing Hub on Facebook, we offer a space to share experiences, ask questions, and connect with others on a similar journey of healing and growth. You’re invited to join us there for encouragement and practical advice on your path.
How the 'Rise and Thrive' Program Supports Moving Through Freeze
If you’re struggling with freeze, it’s essential to have structured support. The Re-MIND Institute’s Rise and Thrive program is designed to help individuals who feel trapped by stress, trauma, or limiting patterns. With the guidance of experienced coaches and a supportive group, participants in Rise and Thrive learn tools to regulate their nervous systems, build self-awareness, and engage in life more fully.
In Rise and Thrive, you’ll have access to resources that address all four responses—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—so that you can feel empowered, alive, and resilient in any situation. The program offers a blend of practical tools and emotional support to help you move from freeze to freedom, one gentle step at a time.
Embracing the Journey of Defrosting and Reconnection
The freeze response is not something to “fix”; it’s part of our natural human experience, a response that has helped us survive moments of great challenge. Healing simply requires us to find ways to feel safe, supported, and connected enough to re-engage with life.
As you explore these tools and exercises, remember that healing is a journey, not a sprint. Honour each step you take, however small, and trust that even in moments of stillness, progress is happening.
If you’re looking for guidance, community, and structured support, we invite you to join the Heart-Centred Healing Hub on Facebook, a space where others are sharing in this journey of growth, healing, and reconnecting with themselves. And if you’re ready to take the next step, the Rise and Thrive program is here to support you in defrosting, finding your path forward, and feeling truly alive once again.
