Rest vs Relaxation What’s the Difference and Why It Matters?

“Can I rest but not relax? The answer is yes. I can stop but still feel tense and tight. Can I relax but not rest? The answer is yes. I can loosen, release tension in my shoulders, in my chest, in my head, and continue doing the dishes.”

- Dr. Ashleigh Moreland

Rest and relaxation are words we often use interchangeably, but they are not the same. While both are vital for our well-being, understanding their differences can transform how we approach feeling refreshed, energised, and ready for life’s demands.

In a recent episode of The Re-MIND Podcast, we tackled this very question. Our discussion uncovered the nuances of rest and relaxation and provided practical insights into achieving both. Let’s break it down further, exploring what these concepts mean and how they can create a profound impact on your life.

What is rest, and what is relaxation?

Rest involves stopping or pausing activity, whether that’s physical, mental, or emotional. It is the act of taking a break - a time when your body and mind aren’t actively engaged in tasks or stressors. Rest might look like sitting down after a long day, lying in bed, or even sitting quietly in your car before heading inside.

Relaxation, on the other hand, is about loosening tension and releasing tightness. It’s a process of easing the grip of stress on your body and mind. You can relax while resting, but you can also relax while being active. For example, you might find relaxation in creative activities, light movement like stretching or yoga, or even mindful breathing while doing the dishes.

The key difference lies in intention. Rest is stopping; relaxation is about how you spend that time and whether it helps your body and mind truly let go.

Why can rest feel unproductive?

One of the biggest challenges many face is the belief that rest is unproductive. If you’ve ever judged yourself for pausing or thought, “I should be doing something more useful,” you’re not alone. These thoughts often stem from societal programming.

For generations, many of us have been taught to value busyness and productivity over our well-being. Resting or relaxing may feel indulgent or even lazy, especially if you’ve internalised these beliefs. But here’s the truth: rest is essential for our health and happiness. Without it, our bodies and minds can’t function at their best.

Practical tools to incorporate rest and relaxation

Creating space for intentional rest and relaxation doesn’t require overhauling your entire routine. Small, manageable changes can have a big impact. Here are some practical tools to try:

1. Microrests throughout your day

Microrests are brief moments of stillness or pause that recharge your body and mind. For example:

• Sit in your car and finish a favourite song before heading into work or home.

• Take a moment to close your eyes and focus on your breath while waiting in a queue.

• Spend five minutes outdoors, listening to the sounds around you.

These short pauses can break the cycle of constant activity and create a sense of calm.

2. Daily relaxation practices

Relaxation doesn’t require hours of free time. Small daily practices can help loosen tension and bring peace:

• Practice mindful breathing: inhale deeply for a count of four, hold for four, then exhale for four.

• Stretch gently before bed to release tension from the day.

• Read a book, listen to calming music, or take a warm bath.

Choose activities that feel restorative for you rather than defaulting to passive distractions like scrolling or binge-watching TV.

3. Weekly dedicated rest time

Incorporate longer periods of rest into your week. For example:

• Have a “tech-free” evening to disconnect from devices and reconnect with yourself.

• Plan a restful Sunday morning with no obligations or to-do lists.

• Reflect on the concept of the Sabbath—a day of reduced demands or work—and how it might look in your life.

These intentional rest periods create space for physical, mental, and emotional renewal.

4. Address the barriers to rest

If rest feels impossible, ask yourself:

• Do I feel safe in my environment? If not, how can I create a greater sense of safety?

• Am I holding on to beliefs that make rest feel uncomfortable or unproductive?

• Are there underlying stressors, like unresolved trauma or poor health, preventing me from relaxing?

Sometimes, the inability to rest or relax signals a deeper issue. Addressing these barriers may require deeper self-exploration or professional support, like the tools offered in the Rise and Thrive program.

Scenarios to make rest and relaxation real

Let’s explore how these tools might look in everyday life:

• Scenario 1: You’re a parent juggling work, family, and household responsibilities. By the time the kids are in bed, you feel too exhausted to do anything productive but too wired to sleep. Instead of scrolling on your phone, take 10 minutes to sit quietly with a cup of tea, focus on your breath, and consciously release the tension in your shoulders.

• Scenario 2: You’re a busy professional who feels guilty about taking breaks. Instead of working through lunch, spend 15 minutes outside, feeling the sun on your skin and listening to the sounds of nature. Use this time to step away from work stress and allow your mind to reset.

• Scenario 3: You’ve noticed that your sleep isn’t restful. You wake up tired and tense. Reflect on your bedtime habits—are you eating late, scrolling on your phone, or going to bed feeling stressed? Introduce calming rituals, like stretching or mindful breathing, to help your body shift into a state of relaxation before sleep.

Why rest and relaxation matter?

Feeling rested and relaxed isn’t just about being comfortable. It impacts every aspect of your life—your health, relationships, productivity, and overall sense of well-being. When you rest and relax effectively, you create space for joy, creativity, and connection.

I am often reminding my clients (and myself!!) that rest isn’t a reward; it’s a necessity. Learning to rest and relax with intention can help you step out of survival mode and into a life of alignment and fulfilment.

Your journey to intentional rest starts here

If you’ve found yourself struggling with rest or feeling overwhelmed by life’s demands, you’re not alone. This is exactly why the Rise and Thrive program exists—to help you uncover the barriers preventing rest, heal from underlying stressors, and build a life that supports your well-being.

For ongoing support and practical resources, join our Heart-Centred Healing Hub Facebook group, where you’ll find a community of like-minded individuals exploring this journey together.

Remember, rest isn’t a luxury. It’s the foundation for the life you deserve.

Watch Episode 93 of the Re-MIND Podcast here: